THE HOME STRETCH

Twenty two months and twenty six states later I am near the end of the line. I've had a nice hiatus the last few weeks since the conventions but now I am making that mad dash to the finish line of "that journey I started that cold day in Springfield". 

Through all of this I have made a ton of friends, learned that I am more resourseful than I ever gave myself credit for, and seen American democracy at it's best and worst. I've seen way more of the best than the worst fyi.

In six days and quite possibly as many states if not more, I'll see how this whole thing turns out. This has been a blessing and a curse all at once. I wouldn't have traded it for the world. 

MOOD SWINGS AT THE 20 MONTH MARK

It's been over two weeks since I started this posting and to be honest it feels like a year. I have had time to go in way too many directions. When I started the first draft of this I had only a vague idea of which pictures I would pictures online since I had the benefit of an onsite editor at both conventions and never really looked at my stuff. I started writing in the airport waiting for my flight but I was groggy from an early wake up call that followed the final late night of the RNC. Then I was too nervous from a bumpy flight due to turbulence brought on by hurricane Hannah. I never got around to finishing it as I spent the whole flight clutching the arm rests.

After two crazy weeks on the road covering both the DNC and the RNC I had the brilliant idea that when I returned to New York I would cover the wonderful world of fashion. That lasted 8 grueling 15 hour days in tight photo pits. I immediately followed up with 3 more days of Wall Street turmoil. Again, I blew off the blog.As I type this I am now a cranky, sleepless little photographer with achey knees that really wants a vacation but is really not in to the idea of flying for a while. After the aformentioned ride home from Minneapolis I feel like I could use a break from air travel. Why on earth did I choose this profession that has recently involved so much travel if I hate flying so much?

Okaaaaay. Kinda off topic. Moving on.
The point of this posting was to be a follow up to the DNC posting. The problem is that after 20 months of covering the U.S. presidential election I feel like I am either at the goal line or the end of my rope. I'm not sure which. The week covering the DNC seemed inspiring and historic. A few weeks later the whole process seems so silly. All the cheap shots(screw you for trying to help people community organizers. Fucking losers.), backstabbing(talking about you Lieberman), flat out lying (Kindergartners taking sex ed? C'mon? Really?) is not what I was expecting from this election. We supposedly have two mature candidates that were supposed to rise above it all in a year when the sky seems like it's falling. Sue me, I'm naive. I hoped to hear more on the issues. I may be a journalist but I do vote. As a photographer I am supposed to be eyes not ears but to be honest with all the stuff I have heard recently I don't really care about what shade of lipstick the pig is wearing. Right now I just want 8 hours of sleep, a juicy steak, and a long overdue vacation. Maybe after that my mood will swing in the other direction.

MILE HIGH DIZZINESS PART 2

Even though I'm a little late with this post I'm still putting it as I wrote it last Thursday. I'm at the RNC in Minneapolis now and will try to stay up to date.



My grandfather is 90 years old. He has told me how he remembers when as a black man he could not vote in this country. Since he's 90 I take his call even when I am super busy. He of course decided to call a few minutes before Obama accepted the nomination and ecstatic is hardly doing justice to how good he sounded. He sounded so proud. Not just for Obama but for me. "Boy that must be something else. I never thought I would live to see the day. I sure wish I could be there." I felt guilty after making sure that he and my grandmother were okay and telling him I would call him the next day(I'll do it tomorrow. Really). To which he responded: "I won't keep you. I just wanted to be sure you were there."



He sounded proud just for the fact I had made the journey to Denver. Almost as if I was making a pilgrimage. Like the candidate, I get to be one of those that stands on the shoulders of those that struggled during the civil rights movement. And while he never marched, he is one of those people who worked long hours doing jobs I could never imagine or endured abuses that I would never tolerate just to be sure my parents and by extension I got better opportunities. My grandfather never finished high school but is the smartest person I know. Because of him and my grandmother I get to take what I do for granted. I get to take how I live, where I live, where I go, and the fact that I can vote for granted. We've come a long way as a nation. From maginalizing a people to nominating the first African-American candidate for president.

Looking out on the crowd and seeing the number of people overwhelmed by emotion, laughing, dancing, and crying was stunning.The Last time I checked in here I said that the environment here is infectious. I was trying to fight off the infection and be the good objective journalist I'm supposed to be, but with my grandfather's words ringing in my ears I find I'm still dizzy in the mile high city.

DIZZY IN THE MILE HIGH CITY

I've been in Denver for nearly three days covering the DNC and I am told that my sluggishness and headache is probably from the change in altitude. I'd feel kind of wimpy if I had not just rocked the last 16 hours on the convention floor. After a year of covering politics I think I am at what is the equivelant of the third quarter. Less than 70 days until election day and this little party has given me the shot in the arm I needed for covering politics. I've beeen laying low on the campaign trail since May. Being here reminds me why I wanted to cover this election in the first place. Peoples' passion for wanting a better America and how their expectations for their future leader is infectious. I really do see the hope that people have when they believe in a candidate. Republican of Democrat. It's nice to be a part of it. Maybe there's more to my dizziness than the altitude.

A BITCHING AND MOANING INTERVENTION

Last time I talked about creativity vs. making a living and about how lately I get paying work at times I had scheduled for personal work. Blah, blah, blah. I came to a pretty quick realization that this is a cop out. I think I am in the club of photographers that cries the blues when it's slow and work is at a premium, but I am also one that belly aches about "not being able to pursue my creative vision man!" or "there aren't enough hours in the day" when I do get work. I also realize that I spend a little too much time in bars, on instant messenger, or watching Law & Order. So to prove a point for I shut off the TV, I skipped drinks with friends and shut down my computer(at least for a few hours). Instead I packed up the 4x5 and headed off to Coney Island with my good friend and fellow traveller Lucian Read to find the people that make Coney Island, well Coney Island. It's nice having a best friend do what you do and one who has a similar idea in mind. It gives you a support system and you get to play assistant for each other. He was also the person that got me out of my funk. By making me feel guilty and lazy with a polite "whatever man" when I said I did not have the time he managed to push me out the door and into a summer time project at the beach that I am really enjoying. I always say we are in this together but rarely do I act like I am in it for myself. Instead I give the advise I never take. I am finally listening my own advise by taking the helping hand of a friend when I needed an extra push to make me do more for myself. Besides the the days with that great summer light are getting shorter and shorter and I can find Law & Order pretty much anytime.

KILLING TIME: THE RETURN OF THE SUMMERTIME BLUES

This week I am short on the rambling. I spent a little time the other day feature hunting for the Times as they needed a day floater to fill a little space. Later in the week I got to cover the All Points West concert. It's still slow and I am trying not to die of boredom or forget how to use my cameras. I am really fighting to get over the hump of this painfully slow period. Ironically I have wanted to go back to Coney Island and shoot more with my 4x5 but every time I make plans to head out there I find myself with a paying job. Money vs. creativity. Ahhh, the age old conflict.

New York's Skyline. Why else would I go to Jersey?
Radiohead at it's whiney best.
Stiltwalkers try to grove to Underworld

A CURE FOR MY SUMMERTIME BLUES

On the boardwalk

Summertime in the city tends to slow for we photojournalist. Government stops, everyone goes on vacation and it seems that news all around has headed off to the Hamptons for a dip in Diddy's pool. After a few days of archiving and catching up on Law & Order re-runs I really needed to get out of the house.


Despite my current hermit lifestyle I am trying to get out and make pictures where ever I go. I try to take a camera everywhere. A party here, a bar hop there, and finally an assignment. I went to Coney Island to shoot features on the Boardwalk for the Times. Ahhh NYT, just when I think you don't love me no more. I get paid to shoot pretty pics on a great day at the beach? Tell me that's not love.

BACK IN THE SADDLE AGAIN

WNBA's first outdoor game at Arthur Ashe Stadium

It's funny I've been back in New York for three weeks now and for the most part all I've shot is events put out by press release. Now that's not to say I look a gift horse in the mouth since this is of course the source of my income, but I find myself laughing at some of the things I have photographed lately since people take things sooooo seriously here.
Posting up under the stars.

Recently I got taken to task for my criticisms on this city I call home. It's not to say I don't still love it here. I do. After all following a press release lead me to the picture with this posting. The New York Liberty played the first ever professional basketball game outdoors at the Arthur Ashe Stadium in Queens. It's one of those hard to pass up things that as the saying goes "Only In New York". Sure this city is irritating, especially now that it's summer, and I do plan on relocating by the fall, but no place on earth has the culture or entertainment that is this over the top. Only in New York.

HOME AGAIN HOME AGAIN? I'M NOT REALLY SURE.

My well worn boots.

I left Kenya in the wee hours of the night. I am now sitting in terminal 5 at Heathrow in what will be a 9 hour layover. If I weren't so tired and had not had such a painless entry through customs I may consider dragging myself to downtown London. With luck I'll pass through London again in a few months and actually see the city for a change. Four times in this airport in the last two years and this is my experience with London. Uggghhhh.

I feel a little heavy hearted going home after practically starting a new life in Nairobi. When I left New York in May I felt I had fallen in love with the city all over again, but now I am not so sure. New York has given me so much, but I think I may have outgrown it. I really liked the life that Kenya provide me. Another community of the like minded but with more of a sense of humanitarian journalism. The pace is slower, the assignments are richer and more along the lines of my idea of what a journalist should be doing.

I know there is community journalism to do in New York, but there are days I feel like I am only following the press releases. Is it too much to want more out of a life in journalism.

I've been to some shady places these last six weeks in Kenya and in myself. I think I've grown as both a photographer and a man. Prime lenses are the best, a good pair of boots are a real life saver, and ten year olds are really hip to what's going on in the world. Simplistic I know but if it works it works.

I am rambling and really tired, but the funny thing is that after seven weeks in Kenya, the sight of a Starbucks here at Heathrow has made my morning. I know there is good coffee in Kenya, but I still had not adjusted to slow service and slow internet.

Thanks to the gang at Kitisuru road who adopted gave me and gave me a home away from home and made me a brother, a friend, and and uncle. I really have been changed for the better by getting to know Brendan, Dan, Bertha, Francis, Alessandra, Vincenzo, Sylvia, Emily, Nik, Flea, Andrea, Moeni, Jane, Game, and Zuffa.

THERE GOES MY HERO

A boy sifts through garbage at the Dandora Dump

My flat mate Emily introduced me to George Ocholla on a trip Villa Teag the other day. Villa Teag is an orphanage in the Dandora area of Nairobi. Remember, that's where I fell into the ocean of sewage in week 46. Anyway, Villa Teag house about 30 kids who have lost their parents to HIV. Unfortunately after the election violence that went on in Kenya last December their founder Melitus Mugabe was murdered. There has been a struggle to keep funding going and the kids together since the loss of their benefactor.



My other flat mate Alessandra has taken it upon herself to keep the lights on, the water running, and secure other funders. She spent 8 months living here while working on a documentary. All the kids here are smart, talented, and hopeful of a better life.



George stands out to me. After both of his parents died from AIDS George found himself in the position of caring for himself and his one year old brother. They began living in the dump in Dandora. He was searching for food and things to sell in the the dump with his brother strapped to his back for months. After eating a meal of refuse from the dump, George noticed his brother, still strapped on his back was not moving. He was dead. As Emily put when he tells this story it's like he's recounting what he had for breakfast it's so matter of fact.

When he retells me this story and how important it is for him to go on and get an education I tell him he's my hero. He just laughs asks me why. Here is a ten year old giving me more insight into the world than most adults. He's suffered more in his ten years than I will probably will the rest of my days yet he is resilliant to the point it almost seems defiant. He makes me laugh with his singing and his imitation of Kenyan President Kibeki. He talks about finishing school and maybe one day being the head boy a Villa Teag. He is thankful for the opportunity given to him despite missing his family.

For me after my sewer incident I swore I would never go back to the dump again. Who really cares I thought. There were a number of people that have done stories on dump sites that become mini recycling industries for the poor. Why bother? I made my way back there the before I left Kenya just to walk a mile in George's shoes and see what he saw every day for months when he was the tender age of five. My sewer swim is nothing more than an anncecdote I'll retell at parties to friends that will laugh at my misadventures. For George it was everyday life navigating the dump which to me is like visiting ninth circle of hell. He not only had to rummage through the garbage but compete with adults, older kids and scavanger birds for the best stuff. Vendors pay 3 Kenyan Schillings for 1KG of plastic bottles after all. George is not only surviving, he's thriving. I look in his eyes and I think that he's one of those people that will probably go on to do great things. Yeah George, you are my hero. Go ahead Laugh if you want to, you've earned it.

George Ocholla

Emily's original NPR story on George and Villa Teag is here.

FUJICHROMING AS BEST I CAN

Catching the Mat



My dark mood is somewhat on the run thanks to a brief flash of sunlight today. Could this be the start of something new? Would I see the sun or was God just messing with my head? I've seen glimmers of it today as it peeks through the tiny holes in the clouds. I am still waiting for call backs on stories I want to work on. I am trying to have patience since a bit of sun is giving me some relief from my Tri-X blues. Hell really is other people and their quirky whims. The irony of my next project is it would take me from the outside world and put me in an environment with florescent light mixed with window light. If ever there was a time to need Tri-X? I am not sure why all of the film analogies are coming up lately. Do I really miss the stuff that much? Certainly not the smell of D-76 or Dektol or whatever developer was on sale that week. Maybe I am a little sick of the instant gratification digital gives me. It's made me more impatient with each technological advancement. Gimme, gimme, now, now, now. I like to think I was more patient at one point but that may be looking at my memories through rose colored glasses. Waiting for a return phone call right now is slowly killing me. It's been two days since I put in a request and all I've done is shoot matatus(cheap vans system everyone uses to get around). 6 days left and I am suddenly feeling like the stop watch is ticking on my time here. At least I can sort of see the sun today. 

TRI-X STATE OF MIND

I am using weather as an excuse for being a few days behind in my weekly posting. I have been living with drab weather for the last week and a half and was advised "Enough with the black and white!!!!! You're in Africa for crying out loud." Normally I would agree, but it's been cloudy and dreary and I am in a dark mood with a heavy heart despite my good fortune of being here. I have not seen the sun for a week now and I am in a Tri-X state of mind(If you can consider the monochrome setting on my 5D a reasonable facsimile). I really do miss film.

The dark days have made my mood nearly as dark. On top of it no one returns phone calls when doing research and subjects always want money(I'm so shocked). I'm trying, trying to get out of theTri-X state of mind and back to a Fujichrome one. At least I can count on the night life, fine dining, good company, and surprisingly good South African wine with my roommates to make being Tri-Xy easier to bear. We'll see if the sun comes out before I leave Kenya in 14 days. Should adventure ever come to an end? I got to get out of this mood. More later.

ON THE STUMP IN NAIROBI

Today was a day of celebration of sorts in Kenya. U.S. Senator Barack Obama became the first African American nominee for a major U.S. political party. There is so much pride in the achievement here. As a son of Kenya, Obama is everywhere. On t-shirts, on the matatus(Kenya's van service), and in store windows. I am told it he becomes the U.S. President they will mark the event with a national holiday. It's strange seeing so much interest here in an election so far away. I thought I was taking a break from presidential politics, but I have to say it's nice to be on the stump so far from home.

WEEK 46: ANOTHER OFF DAY

Today was one of those days that I did not want to be an off day. At first. It is Kenyan Independence Day. It means the country comes to a standstill. So much for getting any work done or having calls returned. Luckily it is also Italy's Republic Day. As I mentioned earlier I am now living with 4 Italians and another American. It not only means that dinner is top notch, but that you get invited to said Republic Day celebrations at the Italian Embassy here. It's a welcome relief to drink wine and have a good meal a day after sinking waste deep in what felt like an ocean of sewage while working on a recycling story in the country's largest dump. Opposite ends of the spectrum.
Looking for recyclables at Dandora Dump

Nun taking flowers from the Italian Embassy

WEEK 45 PART 2: AN OFF DAY

Waiting for the matatu.


Today is cloudy and dreary. Instead of venturing out into the quarry or the camp I have been shooting I decided to wait until tomorrow for nicer light. It give me a chance to run the errands for the the things I forgot in New York. I guess a fresh towel is a good idea. It’s been an interesting experience getting to slow down and work at my own pace. I’ve moved into a house of some pretty cool Italian film makers and an American photographer who have graciously taken me in. So much for the idea of being my own sounding board. They are a great bunch. Bonus: everyone cooks, there’s a baby that is alway laughing, and the market in the is part of town has prosciutto. The only thing that’s missing today is a clear sky. There’s always tomorrow. More later.

WEEK 45: "CHASE THAT LIGHT YA KNOW"

"Nice but kind of flat don't ya think? You got to get up early to chase that light you know", said the snide bitchy photographer from a paper out west glancing over my shoulder as I looked over the take from my first day in Haiti. Despite wanting to club her with 70-200 I silently agreed. It's two years on now. After a week working for Operations Smile I got up this morning at 5AM to "chase that light" for my portrait project on those displaced by Kenya's election violence. First stop Mathare, one of the poorest sections of Nairobi, where in one city block 400 families were chased out and had their homes destroyed by people they used to call neighbors.

Sadly since being in Kenya I have not had more than three hours of sleep at night. Trying to be coherent storyteller and chasing that light is an exercise in masochism. Even though I may be giving myself heart palpitations from too much caffeine and seeing nothing but thick dark storm clouds in the sky, I schuffle off to chase that light. Half way there I feel as dark as the clouds as my driver Franics says "you'll never see sun on a day like this". I try not to scowl. I don't want to hate him this early into my trip. Lucky for him five minutes into my visit to Mathera the sun comes up big, golden, and beautiful. I can't help but think of you snide bitchy west coast photographer.

WEEK 44 PART 2

I am feeling a little bit proud of myself since I have been able to update this thing twice despite the fact I have just spent the last 24 hours traveling and very few sleeping. Part of that is my own fault since I can't say no to my new friends and their obsession with watching the Manchester Chelsea game until the wee hours. I am exhausted and have not even finished downloading my cards. Instead I am rambling to myself here.

I feel a little out of my comfort zone. I am usually surrounded by other photographers most of whom are my friends. Here I'm all by myself. I realize how much I rely on the sounding board of others and not on my own instincts. It's kind of nice. Jarring, but still nice.

 I started shooting the Operation Smile job this morning following around one doctor, a nurse, an administrator and a line of parents and kids. So far my mission has required a lot of waiting around. I spent time in the hospital with the doctors today waiting to see patients. I spent time with patients waiting to see doctors. The first time I did this for Operation Smile it was a little more buzz since I saw the front end of the mission before kids had their surgeries and before the scars healed. I am happy to say six months on these kids are gorgeous. It makes me pretty happy to see the end result turn out so well for such a great group of kids. 

The people are friendly despite all they have gone through in the last few months since the violence erupted during the election. Kenya still seems to me coming back. I hope to start working a little on repatriation as soon as my time with Op Smile is done. By then this should be my new comfort zone.

RAMBLING ON BA FLIGHT 112 OR WEEK 44

I am sitting on British Airway flight 112 to London listening to a surprisingly good Red Hot Chili Peppers album on my Ipod. As always I am wide awake for an overnight 8 hour flight. “Just in case something happens.” It’s not like I am going to open my shirt and find a red “S” and a cape and save us if the plane goes down. I am going to fall out of the sky like everyone else “if something happens”. God, I hate flying.

With that said, this is my making an effort to to get back on track with the blog entries. On track means that i need to put a little more into this. My last entry was in week 5 roughly 44 weeks ago. Classic right? I could blame it on the rigors of a 7 month stint in Iowa shooting politics and that I have been busy being one of the producers of another blog, but let’s face it I get distracted.

As we lurch at 30,000 feet across the pond. I can’t help but think of how I got here. I got a call a few weeks ago to ask if I would be going to Kenya for Operation Smile. I had done some work for them in Brazil a few years ago. They do great work and it’s the type of thing that can get overlooked between the floods, campaigns and earthquakes. It’s small and a cliche, but to see the look on some child’s face that’s suffered with all kinds of deformities is one of the happiest moments I have had.
On top of that It’s kind of hard to pass up a free trip to the mother continent. I have spent the majority of the last year covering the election and since returning to New York, I’ve had the feeling I was spinning my wheels.

I’ve been walking round with a frown on my face lately. Something is missing. That's not to say that I hate my city, but it is a little bit of a downer after spending so much time covering the presidential campaign in Iowa. Funny right. It’s strange to miss a sleepy state where you can’t get dinner after ten.

I came home with a bit of contempt for my once beloved New York. I hate your crowds, the attitudes, the velvet ropes at your bars, the two hour wait for a table at a restaurant that used to be my place and now you pay attention to everyone but me, the the publicists that look down on me(I’m a nice guy), On top of it I say Reuters not Rooters you moron. God, what do I see in you New York? I have so got to get out of here has been my battle cry.

This trip comes at the right time. The perfect summer romance during the slow season for the New York freelancer. Oh Kenya you are so beautiful with your fragile power sharing government, your repatriation efforts. In the worse case scenario, I’ll go on safari. You will be my summer love.

Since I was on taking this trip I needed to stock on a few things. I had to look good for my new love right? Off to Paragon I went. I needed a dry fit hat, travel locks, a new bag, a travel sleeping bag, and that oh so special last minute impulse buy, wash and wear synthetic underwear. How can I survive with out those. Wash them in the shower and supposedly they dry after a few minutes in the sun (we’ll see).

After spending way more than I intended. ($150 sunglasses did the trick), I headed back to Broadway to find myself in the middle of the New York Dance Parade. Kind of silly right? Not really. I saw ballet, flamenco, salsa, tap, and my personal favorite roller dance. I tossed on my press pass( why stand behind the barricade when you can walk the street with the marchers right) and took my new 50 mm for a spin. Funny how a sunny Saturday can turn around here. It’s not much but, it was just what I needed to turn that frown upside down. Crowds, attitudes(the ones that give you character), dancing in the street. How can I hate you New York. You have always given me everything. My wife, my friends, the work I love, culture, diversity, a community of the like minded, dinner after 10PM, even the temperament and abilities for someone to call me and send me to Kenya. I have no idea what my problem was. What was I thinking. I still love you New York. I’ll see you later in the summer.

WEEK 5

It's week five. I'm still having fun with this little blog of mine. Unlike last week I'm a little early as I have to head out at 5AM to shoot golf. I'm in NYC for the rest of the week, but I'll be back on the stumping grounds by the middle of next week. Thanks to all of you for the comments, support, and the extra motivation to keep this up. Talk to you next week.

"A good way to spoil a walk in the country." -- Mark Twain on the "sport" of golf
Rudy Campaigns - Sloan, IA July 2007

WEEK 4

I'm a little late with posting this week's picture, so I am making up for it by adding 4 pix this time around. I've been following the campaigns in Iowa for 2 weeks now. I'm starting to find the people in the crowds are just as fun and engaging as the presidential hopefuls.

2007 Clayton County Dairy Princess Leah Henkes - Caucusing for Obama

Sydney Bolsinger (5) - Eligible to vote in 2020

Allen Troester - Caucusing for Obama

Don P. Buckman - Undecided